My Love

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My Love

This Page Is Built Just To Talk About The Love Of My Life, My best friend and girl friend, Christie

Our Story

I met Christie on the palace around June or July of 2001, The day that I met her was just like any other day, I just happened to be on palace, which for me, was very unlikely when Sarah. The one I thought loved me too at the time wasn't on palace herself, I just never got on palace without her, But I happened to get on one evening and seen a girl named Shortstie on there, well, of course, I never thought two seconds about it really...as that she would ever be someone who would care for me, or me for her. I thought that i had exactly what i wanted in life at that time.

I asked christie for her screename or she asked for mine one, i can't remember. But anyways, we exchanged screenames and we became just really good friends. I wasn't afraid to tell her about problems i would have with sarah, Or about just how i felt about other things, and i thought she was just my best friend, i...still either didn't NOTICE anything, or i didn't WANNA notice. b/c of sarah..But time passed. and i started spending more and more time with christie than i did anybody. I had a crush on her, yes, But i wouldn't say anything about it. I seen a link to christie's diary along the way, and i commented on it..and she told me i should go read it and that i should make one myself. I thought of course that i would never enjoy having an online diary, it seemed to "GAY" for me. But she was my friend, and i thought i'd check it out. Well..i read her diary..I've just never been as impressed or thought as highly of someone before, I mean, I just was glad that i was able to meet someone like her, but still, I could never tell her that i liked her, cause one, i was stuck in a horribly painful, Crazy relationship, and two, because..i just knew there's no way she could say yes and i knew it would kill our friendship.

So i went on and made my own diary and i'm like Lookie christie! i made one, and i was giving her the link and i would note her like crazy....as a way of hopefully hintin towards her and maybe i could see how she would respond...And luckily it went pretty good! i told her stuff like i thought she was soooo cool and sweet and funnie and stuff, But i could never say, U know..i have feelings for you. Cause..well..i'm half the country away from her. Some time passed and we just stayed really good friends, i had my little diary noting flirtations going on, other than that, really nothing. Some really bad stuff went down, I was dumped by my ex girlfriend for reasons that i never quiet understand, Not even today, I don't know the real reasons, and i don't care, But the point is, at the time...it drove me insane, all i could do was cry, And i ran away from everything, i blocked everyone outta my life completely, I didn't talk to anyone and all i did was think of ways to kill myself.

I just kept on getting online anyways, just to get music and roms and stuff, But..I hid on my other screename that i didn't think ANYONE knew about...but obviously i had given it to christie or messaged her on it prior to this. Because...she messaged me, and she just asked me about stuff..At the time, i was scared, I was really scared, cause i didn't trust anyone, i didn't trust people in general, the only person i'd completely trusted crushed my trust and i just couldn't take it right then. But christie spoke..and i listened..The words she spoke were stronger and more meaningfull than, OH DUDE, i'm sorry. Or, I'm soooo sorry *hugs*..she spoke from the heart, she gave me real examples of when she wanted to give up, but she didn't. and she proved to me that no matter what, i would be ok...Many nights that sweetheart took a saddenned, depressed ol guy like myself and turned him into a smiling little dorkish boy who was thanking god he had her in his life.

Christie started seeing more of the heart of me, and i started sharing more things with her because i was beginning to trust her, and i was falling more for her everyday, until eventually, she told me that she didn't wanna sound stupid.But she had a crush on me, and she really really liked me alot. Well..this was the kinda opening i was praying for. I knew if i told her something like that, as important and great as she was, it prolly would lead to a "you're great, but i'm just your friend" so i didn't bother, I didn't think she could love me from afar. But she just said this to me..So of course, i got extremely excited, and i thought constantly about asking her out.

We kept getting closer, and i just started telling her that i loved her..not as in a child to it's mother kinda love, but that she could be more to me than that, and she said so too. So we started saying we loved each other, But i still couldn't ask her to be my g/f..i still had some fears in the back of my head saying she would feel strange or i'd put her in a weird position or it would end just like my previous relationship...Also..i didn't feel like i was good enough, I thought that my interest in alot of the eviler like things in life would push her away eventually....So i still fought it..but slowly and surely, I couldn't do it anymore, the whole time she was on, I kept feeling like my heart was just BEGGING me to ask her out. and i would be all silent or be all stupid and make no sense cause i'm trying to fight it. But i just COMPLETELY decided one night and invited her to the palace with me, and i told her that i had to ask her something really important

Well, I couldn't find the right words to make it sweet enough..lol. So i rambled for about an hour..and after an hour of talking, i finally got across the point of bringing her there with me, Which was to ask for her to be my g/f..i told her all i felt about her, Why i wanted her to be. How scared i was of asking her cause i was soo scared of the past repeating itself and that it was taking alot out of me to ask her, but i had too. And she excepted.that..was in late august, or early september, So we were officially b/f, g/f, even tho it seemed as if we were for weeks prior to then. =)

All our time together was wonderful, I would have given anything for her, and i trusted and loved her as i'd never done before. But then, me being the selfish person i was, Jumped to a girl that i could see here, Which did not last long, Because..i didn't care if it meant i had to wait 2 years before i could hold christie, the bottom line was i felt more secure and comfy and loved and i loved HER more than i did the other girl...so i asked christie to take me back after cutting off the other relationship, I did not deserve it..But she did take me back, and i was once again enjoying my life to it's fullest.

Quite awhile passed and nuffin at all went wrong, But then little cracks started appearing in the relationship, i couldn't understand what was wrong, Why this was happening and we seemed to be drifting farther apart. Then Christie eventually broke up with me..There was really no reason, which was exactly like it was with sarah, so i was devistated. Crushed didn't even begin to explain it. it was really strange, because. I didn't know who to turn to then, Before, christie knew everything about me. she knew exactly how i felt all the time, and now, it was her that did it to me, So i was just lost. I couldn't run to her for comfort anymore, so i just ran away and stayed offline alot. We spoke..from time to time still...altho it hurt me very much each time. But something strange was telling me not to completely kill the friendship and not run from her completely..just a strange sense, I wanted her to be reminded that i really did care for her and that i was just confused.

Eventually, She said that she was sorry..*and i couldn't really let her say she was sorry, Because i understood...even tho i didn't want to..that she really did have reasons, cause i unfortunately KNEW that i couldn't be everything in the world to her when i couldn't even touch her..I knew that it had to bother her not being able to bring me over to see family, to not be able to hang out around friends and say "HERE'S CHRIS!" and that she couldn't call me all the time when she needed me, and i just couldn't be there in general..i knew it hurt her and that she had reasons, and i didn't really like her saying sorry, But i did want her back..But i wasn't sure. Because, i didn't know if i should accept it, I WANTED her back, but at the same time, i thought IF IT WASN'T GONNA HAPPEN BEFORE! WHAT MAKES ME THINK IT WON'T AGAIN!? I did some heavy thinking....and everything kept bringing me back to her, cause it's really the only way i felt complete and all. So i just told her that i wanted her to be my g/f again. So we got back together. and it was just like putting the peices back on a puzzle...we just went right back together as if we belonged there. We picked up right where we left off..with a few minor adjustments, Mainly in our personalities

If we were close before, then the only way you could explain us afterwards would be ONE BEING. We completely became closer, we started telling each other things that i could only imagine, I began sharing everything i could think of with her. Because i trusted that she would understand, I started seeing changes in her as well, more and more each day, She began turning more and more like me. She got more into my music and just my way of life alltogether, she was becoming..my total complete, dream girl.

And everyday that passes i get closer to her, we might have our little slipups, which i prolly cause most of, hehe And there may be little things like her not being able to get online very long and stuff to try and hurt us. But when she's away, i prolly think about her more. LOL, so it's all good, She's always in my mind and i'm always thinkin of her But even with all those things she and i love each other and we get over everything, and if it's fussing we're doing, we get over it too, cause we can't fuss at each other for long, we like to make up. lol. I share everything from my heart with the girl now, and she means everything to me.

I wouldn't trade christie for anything in this world, and i can clearly say that i love her more than anything else on the earth and i would gladly give my life for her. I LOVE YOU CHRISTIE!

Things i Love About Christie.

I love her strength, and how she dealt with things that she had to deal with, because without a strong person like her to help a weak person like me...I could never stand up. hehe

I love her attitude about things. How she acts, how she treats me, and cares for me. How she can make me feel better about myself and feel happy no matter what is going on in my life. How she just surprises me with things she says, Things i would never expect her to feel or say or think, that she just pops up with and i'm like WOW!

I love how she lets me meet her friends and gives me interesting new people to talk to.

I love her letters that she sends me in the mail and all those precious little drawings in them that i keep wif me all the time. hehe.

I think it's adorable that she's so short that she once needed help reaching a top locker. *giggles* I think it's cute that she's short period, it's like a doll! hehe

I love the sound of her voice, it's so soft, and quiet, and it sound soooooo hot. tehehe ;) it's a really cute voice that i hope to god is always with me, cause just thinking about it makes me smile. I love when she says she loves me.

I love how she can put her trust in me and fight for us even tho sometimes it's really hard...To not be able to see each other, But how she continues to help me with it, and she stays by me, even throught it all. =)

I love how she gets on in the mornings to talk to me before school, hehe.

I love muah...that's..just the single sweetest thing i've ever heard in my life..simply 4 letters and thinking of them can completely change my outlook on my day. M U A H. when she first explained to me what it meant, i thought i would die of a heartattack from giggling. hehehe, and it's just been something we've done since and i love it. sooooo much

I love how she sleeps wif a little duckie, it sounds adorable as all hell anyways, But then she says that she just imagines the duckie was me. *giggles* and that just makes it even more meaningful and sweet than it already was for me.

I love just every little cute thing she says and does. i could name stuff like the duckie and stuff all night if i wanted, things she's said to me, she's just my cutey. hehe

And really and truly, the most surprising thing about her that i love, is that she had the ability to make me love..I love her now and i care about her health, how her school days where, I just..actually love someone and i never thought i would really ever care period. But sumfin about her made me care. and i love that. I never knew just how great it could feel. =)

My Future Plans Wif Christie

I know that we're both relatively young at the moment and i respect that. But i cannot say that i don't have plans. I can't make any DEFINITE plans, But i know what my dreams are, and i know in my heart...that christie has to be the one for me.. We might have our little problems..we might get hurt, we might feel bad, whatever, But still! We get over it, and she is how i who i want in my life, cause i know no problem is too big, we are great! hehe. But anyways! I wish to meet her soon. I hope and pray with all my heart that she will be able to love me just the same after seeing me, i wanna continue to grow closer to her HERE, the phone, visiting her, whatever i can do. After school, I wish to make her a very HUGE part of my life, i wanna be able to see her anytime i want, i wanna be able to spend sooo much time with her, I don't know if i'll have a way to live near her..or the money for it, or what i'm gonna do to support myself, but one way or another, i'm keeping her in my life, or the rest of it can go to hell. LOL. I want to gain her total 100% trust, i wanna be there for her anytime she needs me, i wanna watch her grow older..and her be by my side, and when the time presents itself, and she would allow and want it, I could very well see myself asking for her hand in marriage. I love her..with all my heart, i'm unsure about alot of things in my life, But the one thing i am sure about is her, and no matter what else happens with me, I want her right there with me, and i hope that she knows that too! hehe *muah* i love you christie!

Unfortunately, right here is the only pic i have of us together! hehe. sorta!

But this pic means everything to me, cause it was taken like..5 minutes after she said she'd go out with me! =) So it stays wif me. a copy of it, in my notebook! =)


	Catatonica's Retreat \| home About Me \| My Love \| Friends 1 \| Friends 2 \| Friends 3 \| Friends 4 \| My Stuffies \| My Hobbies \| Quotes \| Links \| Contact Me My Love This Page Is Built Just To Talk About The Love Of My Life, My best friend and girl friend, Christie Our Story I met Christie on the palace around June or July of 2001, The day that I met her was just like any other day, I just happened to be on palace, which for me, was very unlikely when Sarah. The one I thought loved me too at the time wasn't on palace herself, I just never got on palace without her, But I happened to get on one evening and seen a girl named Shortstie on there, well, of course, I never thought two seconds about it really...as that she would ever be someone who would care for me, or me for her. I thought that i had exactly what i wanted in life at that time. I asked christie for her screename or she asked for mine one, i can't remember. But anyways, we exchanged screenames and we became just really good friends. I wasn't afraid to tell her about problems i would have with sarah, Or about just how i felt about other things, and i thought she was just my best friend, i...still either didn't NOTICE anything, or i didn't WANNA notice. b/c of sarah..But time passed. and i started spending more and more time with christie than i did anybody. I had a crush on her, yes, But i wouldn't say anything about it. I seen a link to christie's diary along the way, and i commented on it..and she told me i should go read it and that i should make one myself. I thought of course that i would never enjoy having an online diary, it seemed to "GAY" for me. But she was my friend, and i thought i'd check it out. Well..i read her diary..I've just never been as impressed or thought as highly of someone before, I mean, I just was glad that i was able to meet someone like her, but still, I could never tell her that i liked her, cause one, i was stuck in a horribly painful, Crazy relationship, and two, because..i just knew there's no way she could say yes and i knew it would kill our friendship. So i went on and made my own diary and i'm like Lookie christie! i made one, and i was giving her the link and i would note her like crazy....as a way of hopefully hintin towards her and maybe i could see how she would respond...And luckily it went pretty good! i told her stuff like i thought she was soooo cool and sweet and funnie and stuff, But i could never say, U know..i have feelings for you. Cause..well..i'm half the country away from her. Some time passed and we just stayed really good friends, i had my little diary noting flirtations going on, other than that, really nothing. Some really bad stuff went down, I was dumped by my ex girlfriend for reasons that i never quiet understand, Not even today, I don't know the real reasons, and i don't care, But the point is, at the time...it drove me insane, all i could do was cry, And i ran away from everything, i blocked everyone outta my life completely, I didn't talk to anyone and all i did was think of ways to kill myself. I just kept on getting online anyways, just to get music and roms and stuff, But..I hid on my other screename that i didn't think ANYONE knew about...but obviously i had given it to christie or messaged her on it prior to this. Because...she messaged me, and she just asked me about stuff..At the time, i was scared, I was really scared, cause i didn't trust anyone, i didn't trust people in general, the only person i'd completely trusted crushed my trust and i just couldn't take it right then. But christie spoke..and i listened..The words she spoke were stronger and more meaningfull than, OH DUDE, i'm sorry. Or, I'm soooo sorry hugs..she spoke from the heart, she gave me real examples of when she wanted to give up, but she didn't. and she proved to me that no matter what, i would be ok...Many nights that sweetheart took a saddenned, depressed ol guy like myself and turned him into a smiling little dorkish boy who was thanking god he had her in his life. Christie started seeing more of the heart of me, and i started sharing more things with her because i was beginning to trust her, and i was falling more for her everyday, until eventually, she told me that she didn't wanna sound stupid.But she had a crush on me, and she really really liked me alot. Well..this was the kinda opening i was praying for. I knew if i told her something like that, as important and great as she was, it prolly would lead to a "you're great, but i'm just your friend" so i didn't bother, I didn't think she could love me from afar. But she just said this to me..So of course, i got extremely excited, and i thought constantly about asking her out. We kept getting closer, and i just started telling her that i loved her..not as in a child to it's mother kinda love, but that she could be more to me than that, and she said so too. So we started saying we loved each other, But i still couldn't ask her to be my g/f..i still had some fears in the back of my head saying she would feel strange or i'd put her in a weird position or it would end just like my previous relationship...Also..i didn't feel like i was good enough, I thought that my interest in alot of the eviler like things in life would push her away eventually....So i still fought it..but slowly and surely, I couldn't do it anymore, the whole time she was on, I kept feeling like my heart was just BEGGING me to ask her out. and i would be all silent or be all stupid and make no sense cause i'm trying to fight it. But i just COMPLETELY decided one night and invited her to the palace with me, and i told her that i had to ask her something really important Well, I couldn't find the right words to make it sweet enough..lol. So i rambled for about an hour..and after an hour of talking, i finally got across the point of bringing her there with me, Which was to ask for her to be my g/f..i told her all i felt about her, Why i wanted her to be. How scared i was of asking her cause i was soo scared of the past repeating itself and that it was taking alot out of me to ask her, but i had too. And she excepted.that..was in late august, or early september, So we were officially b/f, g/f, even tho it seemed as if we were for weeks prior to then. =) All our time together was wonderful, I would have given anything for her, and i trusted and loved her as i'd never done before. But then, me being the selfish person i was, Jumped to a girl that i could see here, Which did not last long, Because..i didn't care if it meant i had to wait 2 years before i could hold christie, the bottom line was i felt more secure and comfy and loved and i loved HER more than i did the other girl...so i asked christie to take me back after cutting off the other relationship, I did not deserve it..But she did take me back, and i was once again enjoying my life to it's fullest. Quite awhile passed and nuffin at all went wrong, But then little cracks started appearing in the relationship, i couldn't understand what was wrong, Why this was happening and we seemed to be drifting farther apart. Then Christie eventually broke up with me..There was really no reason, which was exactly like it was with sarah, so i was devistated. Crushed didn't even begin to explain it. it was really strange, because. I didn't know who to turn to then, Before, christie knew everything about me. she knew exactly how i felt all the time, and now, it was her that did it to me, So i was just lost. I couldn't run to her for comfort anymore, so i just ran away and stayed offline alot. We spoke..from time to time still...altho it hurt me very much each time. But something strange was telling me not to completely kill the friendship and not run from her completely..just a strange sense, I wanted her to be reminded that i really did care for her and that i was just confused. Eventually, She said that she was sorry..and i couldn't really let her say she was sorry, Because i understood...even tho i didn't want to..that she really did have reasons, cause i unfortunately KNEW that i couldn't be everything in the world to her when i couldn't even touch her..I knew that it had to bother her not being able to bring me over to see family, to not be able to hang out around friends and say "HERE'S CHRIS!" and that she couldn't call me all the time when she needed me, and i just couldn't be there in general..i knew it hurt her and that she had reasons, and i didn't really like her saying sorry, But i did want her back..But i wasn't sure. Because, i didn't know if i should accept it, I WANTED her back, but at the same time, i thought IF IT WASN'T GONNA HAPPEN BEFORE! WHAT MAKES ME THINK IT WON'T AGAIN!? I did some heavy thinking....and everything kept bringing me back to her, cause it's really the only way i felt complete and all. So i just told her that i wanted her to be my g/f again. So we got back together. and it was just like putting the peices back on a puzzle...we just went right back together as if we belonged there. We picked up right where we left off..with a few minor adjustments, Mainly in our personalities If we were close before, then the only way you could explain us afterwards would be ONE BEING. We completely became closer, we started telling each other things that i could only imagine, I began sharing everything i could think of with her. Because i trusted that she would understand, I started seeing changes in her as well, more and more each day, She began turning more and more like me. She got more into my music and just my way of life alltogether, she was becoming..my total complete, dream girl. And everyday that passes i get closer to her, we might have our little slipups, which i prolly cause most of, hehe And there may be little things like her not being able to get online very long and stuff to try and hurt us. But when she's away, i prolly think about her more. LOL, so it's all good, She's always in my mind and i'm always thinkin of her But even with all those things she and i love each other and we get over everything, and if it's fussing we're doing, we get over it too, cause we can't fuss at each other for long, we like to make up. lol. I share everything from my heart with the girl now, and she means everything to me. I wouldn't trade christie for anything in this world, and i can clearly say that i love her more than anything else on the earth and i would gladly give my life for her. I LOVE YOU CHRISTIE! Things i Love About Christie.* I love her strength, and how she dealt with things that she had to deal with, because without a strong person like her to help a weak person like me...I could never stand up. hehe I love her attitude about things. How she acts, how she treats me, and cares for me. How she can make me feel better about myself and feel happy no matter what is going on in my life. How she just surprises me with things she says, Things i would never expect her to feel or say or think, that she just pops up with and i'm like WOW! I love how she lets me meet her friends and gives me interesting new people to talk to. I love her letters that she sends me in the mail and all those precious little drawings in them that i keep wif me all the time. hehe. I think it's adorable that she's so short that she once needed help reaching a top locker. giggles I think it's cute that she's short period, it's like a doll! hehe I love the sound of her voice, it's so soft, and quiet, and it sound soooooo hot. tehehe ;) it's a really cute voice that i hope to god is always with me, cause just thinking about it makes me smile. I love when she says she loves me. I love how she can put her trust in me and fight for us even tho sometimes it's really hard...To not be able to see each other, But how she continues to help me with it, and she stays by me, even throught it all. =) I love how she gets on in the mornings to talk to me before school, hehe. I love muah...that's..just the single sweetest thing i've ever heard in my life..simply 4 letters and thinking of them can completely change my outlook on my day. M U A H. when she first explained to me what it meant, i thought i would die of a heartattack from giggling. hehehe, and it's just been something we've done since and i love it. sooooo much I love how she sleeps wif a little duckie, it sounds adorable as all hell anyways, But then she says that she just imagines the duckie was me. giggles and that just makes it even more meaningful and sweet than it already was for me. I love just every little cute thing she says and does. i could name stuff like the duckie and stuff all night if i wanted, things she's said to me, she's just my cutey. hehe And really and truly, the most surprising thing about her that i love, is that she had the ability to make me love..I love her now and i care about her health, how her school days where, I just..actually love someone and i never thought i would really ever care period. But sumfin about her made me care. and i love that. I never knew just how great it could feel. =) My Future Plans Wif Christie I know that we're both relatively young at the moment and i respect that. But i cannot say that i don't have plans. I can't make any DEFINITE plans, But i know what my dreams are, and i know in my heart...that christie has to be the one for me.. We might have our little problems..we might get hurt, we might feel bad, whatever, But still! We get over it, and she is how i who i want in my life, cause i know no problem is too big, we are great! hehe. But anyways! I wish to meet her soon. I hope and pray with all my heart that she will be able to love me just the same after seeing me, i wanna continue to grow closer to her HERE, the phone, visiting her, whatever i can do. After school, I wish to make her a very HUGE part of my life, i wanna be able to see her anytime i want, i wanna be able to spend sooo much time with her, I don't know if i'll have a way to live near her..or the money for it, or what i'm gonna do to support myself, but one way or another, i'm keeping her in my life, or the rest of it can go to hell. LOL. I want to gain her total 100% trust, i wanna be there for her anytime she needs me, i wanna watch her grow older..and her be by my side, and when the time presents itself, and she would allow and want it, I could very well see myself asking for her hand in marriage. I love her..with all my heart, i'm unsure about alot of things in my life, But the one thing i am sure about is her, and no matter what else happens with me, I want her right there with me, and i hope that she knows that too! hehe muah i love you christie! Unfortunately, right here is the only pic i have of us together! hehe. sorta! But this pic means everything to me, cause it was taken like..5 minutes after she said she'd go out with me! =) So it stays wif me. a copy of it, in my notebook! =)